carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
