Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
