Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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