I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
