I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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