Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
