We named our party play list daddy issues
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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