Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
