I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
