everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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