Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You ruined the universe
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
