New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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