dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
