Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My breasts were aching with rage.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
A bitchslap is in order.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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