It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
