I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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