Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We need to get me chipped asap
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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