Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
