I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
