I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
