do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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