She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
