I hate all girls vehemently.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't deserve a penis
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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