Don't make out with my wife yet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
