What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize