That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
