Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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