I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
