yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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