and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
