I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
