it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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