I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
