My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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