dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize