I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Having a random hookup so left but love u
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
