So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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