Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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