you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize