They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
