I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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