she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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