And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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