i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
