i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ketchup is God's man juice
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
