yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
