i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
