I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
