Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
