He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
