i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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