Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
