I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
