Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
