Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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