I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i've created a new STD.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize