I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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