We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
