I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
