I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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