I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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