Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
