I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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